A man I loved as a dear friend has died by suicide. He was suffering with depression. He suffered alone. Didn’t reach out to his friends. To the many who knew and loved him, it’s come as a complete shock.
This Man I Loved...
... was called Laurence Brown. I loved him because he was so full of life and generous of spirit. He spent his life working as a coach; helping and motivating people. He brought people from the depths of despair and cheered them on until they felt better about themselves. He made it his life’s mission to give of himself.
Depression seems to have taken a hold. It crept up silently. And took him.
I first met him nearly 15 years ago. If you met him, you’d never forget him. He wore the brightest clothes you could imagine. A big toothy smile. He had a way of leaving you feeling inspired and feeling good about yourself. Charisma and warmth just emanated...
Not always a Joyful time
That time of year is upon us again and the big push to have a Merry Christmas has begun. Whilst many are caught up in the glitter and sparkle of the season, for others this will be a most difficult time of the year. If you have suffered a loss, separation, homelessness or financial difficulties, Christmas may be something you dread rather than enjoy. It is an occasion which does not last for just one day but begins with several weeks of preparation. Shops glisten with tinsel and Christmas songs boom out of speakers as people rush around to buy gifts.
The big drive to plan “the day” and invitations to events with family, friends and work abound. If you are alone, the reality of loneliness is made stronger by TV, social media and radio depictions of constant merriment. While you might be be worrying about the bills landing on the mat in January.
Loneliness and Loss felt...
Mother's Day is celebrated all over the world - the special day we've set aside to celebrate motherhood. For those lucky enough, our mothers are the one constant in our lives who never give up on us. They are always fighting our corner and provide us with the secure place we go to when things are not going our way. Mothers are often the centre of families and often have multiple roles. 'Mothers' are the grand-mothers, aunts and sisters who are pivotal figures in many of our lives. What do you and your family do to mark Mother’s Day?
Traditionally children buy their mum a lovely bunch of flowers or chocolates and give a Mother’s Day card. There's a lovely family gathering for Sunday lunch with everyone chipping in to give mum a well-earned rest. The posts on Social Media remind us how special mums are. There is nothing wrong with this version the day; and it's a lovely way to spend the day...
Domestic abuse affects a lot of women.
As a friend, I have been aware that some of my friends have endured domestic abuse. As teenaged girls and as women. In relationships and when they were single and ‘fair game’.
As a colleague, I’ve seen the bruises, heard the whispered phone calls. Seen the fear and anxiety in their eyes.
As an acquaintance, I’ve seen the tears of women who have suffered unspeakable episodes of violence. Beaten. Spat on. Told they are worthless. Trapped. The things is, I never said anything. We smiled, chit-chatted about our work, the weather, activities. But I just didn’t have the tools to ask. To listen.
Staying silent in the awkwardness of talking
When I was a teenager and young woman, I didn’t know how to have difficult conversations with other girls. They hinted about their experiences of abuse and violence at home; of witnessing their mothers being hit. We just didn’t have the language to talk about it properly. I...
The New Year is here and January has truly set in. You can’t get away from the barrage of information about new diets, new fitness regimes, new you.
At the same time, everyone’s talking about ‘Dry January’ and believing that detoxing for a month will help right the wrongs of the year before.
The news tells us that marriages end in January; and divorce lawyers are really busy. While by mid-January-to-February everyone’s given up on turning vegan, going to the gym and has started drinking again.
So, January is actually pretty dire! It gets dark by 4pm, it’s a long 5-week month until pay day and the New You isn’t materialising.
The Reality of January
Personally, I struggle with January’s ‘New Year – New You’ message. I just don’t buy it. Yes, of course there are things you could change in your life to make it better. You can eat more healthily, do more exercise, drink less, sleep better… But do they REALLY make you...
